Now that you know what God wants, you are ready to put
it into practice. Expect this training to take time. It may take weeks,
months or longer to conquer stubborn habit patterns. The promise in the
Bible is:
"I can do everything
through Him who gives me strength."
(Philippians 4:13)
Implementing
the Plan for Good Interpersonal Relationships:
Make a list of those principles which represent a challenge to your
relationships at the present time:
Principle broken: |
Specific challenge: |
Person involved: |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
_______________ |
Its important to remember that we are working with relationships
here, therefore each of the areas listed above would need to be
confessed to God and then to the person involved. Forgiveness
is the basic principle needed by you and for you. It is the
foundation for all interpersonal relationships. That is just where we
will start!
There are three parts to complete forgiveness:
Part 1: Forgiving others
Part 2: Seeking forgiveness from God
Part 3: Seeking forgiveness from others.
We will deal with each of these separately
taking one step at a
time.
Part 1 - Forgiving Others:
- Ask God to reveal to you as He desires, every person that has ever
hurt or offended you.
Now
look at the cross. To help you understand what Jesus did at the
cross, read Luke 23 and John 17. Jesus took the sins of the whole
world upon Himself at the cross and died "once for all".
He did the same for the person He has asked you to forgive.
- Decide that you will not:
- retaliate
(1 Peter 2:23)
- use the information in the future against the people you
forgive (Proverbs 10:12)
- allow this offense to separate you from a potential or
continuing friendship. (Proverbs
17:9)
|
You are now ready to forgive
or not forgive. This is a crisis of the will. It is your choice to
let the other person off the hook and free yourself from the desire
to hate and seek revenge.
- If you have been bitter for some time, it would be wise to find
a righteous and trusted counselor friend who will pray with you
and for you according to James 5:16.
Otherwise this is between you and God privately. Go down the list
and pray aloud:
"I forgive________________________ (name) for
________________________ (list the offenses)."
Now destroy the list and do not mention to the
offenders that they are forgiven. This could create more
conflict. Your forgiveness of others is between you and God. You
are now free no matter how you feel!
Part 2 Seeking Forgiveness from God:
There is a difference between confessing and asking for
forgiveness.
Confessing is agreeing with God that what you have said or done
is wrong.
Asking for forgiveness follows confessing the sin.
You are now ready to take responsibility for your part of the sin in
your life that has separated you from people or from God. As God brings
them to your mind:
- Make a list of those sins by confessing:
"I
did ________________ " (name
the specific sin.
Purpose
to ask forgiveness and begin with those whom you have
offended the most. Whenever you offend a brother or sister, you have
offended God the most.
Stop and pray:
"O Lord, I have sinned against You
by my lack of love for You which is manifested by my offense toward
__________________(name
or initial). I now confess
this sin to You and thank You for Your faithfulness and justice to
forgive this sin and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness through
the blood of Your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen."
Claim His forgiveness and do not dwell upon the past. (1
John 1:9; Psalm 103:12; Philippians 3:12-14)
Part 3 Seeking Forgiveness from Others:
When preparing to ask forgiveness from others, it is most important
to identify
the attitudes you had that may have caused the hurt even before
you identify wrong words or actions. These attitudes must be
confessed before
the words or actions because:
- They are usually more hurtful than words or actions.
- You may repeat the offense if the attitude is not corrected.
You are doing this based on the principle in Matthew
7:1, 5.
You are now ready to seek forgiveness from those whom you
have wronged:
Determine
whether a phone call or visit is best, whichever is possible,
based on the principles in Matthew
5:23-24, Mark 11:25-26 and Matthew 18:15.
Communicate the following in your own words based on Ephesians
4:15, 25:
"I recognize that I have sinned against the Lord and you by (name
the specific sin). It is my
intention never again to repeat this offense against you or anyone
else. I repent and will change by doing the following. (Explain
your specific plan for change and restitution.) I
have asked the Lord to forgive me, and I want you to know that I
desire your forgiveness as well. Will you please forgive
me?"
Do not expect to receive forgiveness! If you do
receive forgiveness, express genuine appreciation.
- Look at the principles listed under the "How Does
God View My Challenge?" section and compare with your basic
lifestyle. List and repeat the previous procedure for each one on
your list.
- Look at the "put-on" characteristics in the
"Does God Have a Plan for Me?" section and memorize the Bible verses that apply
to your situation. Then pray the following prayer or something
similar:
"Lord, I confess that I have not
loved ______________ the way Youve asked me to; therefore I have sinned
against You and ______________. I ask that You cleanse me of my
________________ toward _________________and give me a new heart as you
promised in Ezekiel 26:36. Show me how to manifest the love of Jesus
toward ______________because of myself I cannot do it. And I thank You
that You are even now answering my prayer, as it is according to Your will
and desire for me and that You will carry to completion the work Youve
begun in me. (Philippians
1:6). Amen."
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