From the day a child is born, parents need to be aware that there is a vital sequence in their training. It involves the following three principles in this exact order:

3. Trust

Space does not permit us to discuss these thoroughly, but we will attempt to give some insight into the reason for this.

Commands or requests cannot be made of a child unless the parent has his/her full attention. Only after a parent has the child’s attention, should the request be made. This can begun to be established at birth by using consistency and regularity in eating, sleeping and play times. When older, games or songs can be used to instill the habit of attentiveness when the child’s name is called.

The very small child must first learn the meaning of "no". It can mean the difference between pain and comfort, life or death. It will not be understood; however, if the parents often say "no" and then forget it or change their minds. Learning the meaning of requests or com-mands involves training (going over the same material many times) in gaining the attention of the child by administering consequences for touching forbidden objects or going into forbidden areas. Removing the child from the object, distracting the attention by drawing attention to another point of interest or, if necessary, a sharp slap on the wrist or thigh will accomplish this purpose.

Obedience is mandatory for the young child. It is NOT an option. Consistency is the key to insuring obedience. A parent can expect repeated testing to determine boundaries. Parents need to be consistent and persistent in making requests followed by a consequence. Conse-quences can be in the form of rewards. A hug or a kind word, affirming the child’s promptness or good attitude goes a long way, thus making it a joy to obey.

The Bible has much to say about consequences. Read the stories of Adam and Eve, Moses and the children of Israel and many others. God always warned of consequences of disobedience and obedience. A child’s first teaching about God comes through the obedience of the parents to God’s Word and their own training.

The trust principle is established in the heart of the child for the parent and the parent for the child when the first two principles have been consistently followed. It’s a reward to the parents when they hear their children say, "My dad said so, and he’ll do it". Or when a parent can say, "My child won’t touch that." This doesn’t mean we are oblivious to the fact that all human beings, including our children, are resistant to temptation. But we can know their hearts and personalities and work accordingly.

Clear Biblical instruction is given for this type of training.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old (mature) he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Training 'a child in the way he should go' instructs parents to know their child's personality and work diligently in methods that bring the greatest response in following God's laws. This method produces TRUST in the heart of the child.

Without the trust factor among family members, manipulation, distrust and bitterness will be found in the hearts of both the parents and the children.

Attentiveness, Obedience and Trust are vital, elementary principles. Next, let's take a good look at additional principles that are basic for good family relationships.